An Open Letter To My Future Husband. Tinuke Akinjayeju.

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Dear Future Husband. Tinuke Akinjayeju.

I’m not yet sure whether you exist, though I’d like to believe that you do. While it may not make much logical sense, you’ve been on my mind lately. I haven’t thought much about what you’ll look like, how tall you’ll be, or what type of car you’ll drive — I’m not too concerned with the minor details. However, I have been thinking about a few things I want you to know.

I want you to know that I am happy — right now — I’m a lady of early 90’s who lives in a small apartment with a roommate and eats Chipotle 🙈😂 for dinner more times than I care to admit. I love my job, I love my crazy friends and family, and I love spending quality time alone. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. When we do meet one day, I want you to understand that I do not expect you to complete me, or to be my God. That’s way too much pressure for anyone to bear. I am already complete.
I want you to know that I am not a trophy. Apparently, a lot of guys think this is a compliment. However, I want you to know that I have no desire to be seen as a trophy — a symbol of your own perceived success. I was not raised just to sit and look pretty on anybody’s shelf. I want to have intellectual conversations. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, not your prize.
I want you to know that I am a feminist, and I want you to be a feminist, too (yes, I said it). This doesn’t mean I am anti-men, and it doesn’t mean I think myself superior to you. It merely means that as a woman, I believe that I should have the power and the choice to define what it means to be a female. Maybe I will continue to work a full-time job for the duration of our marriage. Maybe, one day, I’ll decide to take on the onerous yet rewarding task of being a stay-at-home mom. Either way, I’ll be “working.” I am hopeful that you and I will be able to come up with a solution that works best for our relationship, and for our future family.

I love you from the depth of my heart but i love me more because there is no way i can love anyone without loving myself.

©Tinuke Akinjayeju

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